Tuesday, February 5, 2008

My Interview with HCBS

Perhaps the best part of being on a blog chock full of crack journalism with no credentials is that I am able to answer my own burning questions that I have for our fearless leader. Since we tend to do a lot of speculation around here, I figured I would put some of our questions to rest.

Gingerballs: First off, I would like to thank Coach Self for taking time out of his busy schedule to graciously provide us with an in depth interview. I am really impressed you would allow someone with out any journalistic background, or much education in general for that matter, to get an inkling of your time.

HCBS: Well, you know, I am actually required to do some community service per my duties as head coach and the damn compliance department deemed you "mentally incapacitated" after your call-in request. Sweet Lew in action, you know.

We take what we can get here at "It's Business Time." Now on to the hard hitting stuff. You have often called Russell Robinson "the pulse of this team", given that, does it directly correlate to our wet paper bag approach to perimeter defense recently?

Uh, uh, you know Russ has been going through some issues as of late that have affected his playing and his defense. Do we need Russ to play better to get to all of our goals? Uh, of course, Russ played a lot better offensively against Missouri but his defense needs to improve for us to be the team we need to be. When he is playing defense better, we are a much better team.

Well stated, before the game on Monday it seemed as if the team felt a bit slighted by the Missouri players(no pregame handshake.) What is your take from that?

Since no one reads this blog, I won't hold back on this issue. Quin was the lovable loser in Missouri and oh so easy to rag on with all the off court issues. The difference with Mike is that they are trying to put on this different facade, trying to separate themselves from the dirty teams of old. The problem is that, they aren't really any different. But uh, but uh, you know, we really like the way the hirings have gone over there recently, great stuff for the Jayhawks. Mike Alden might one day have his name hung up in the rafters at Allen.

Speaking of questionable hirings, what are your thoughts on the state of Oklahoma State basketball and what, if any, interest you would have in that job if it did open in the near future.

Sean looks like the "slow" kid that daddy sheltered doesn't he? But let me tell you one thing, Sean Sutton can coach. Just not in this league, maybe he and Frank Martin should help each other coach a high school team. Well I guess that didn't go so well for Frank the first time in Florida. As for the talk of me going home, I would compare that to going from driving an Aston Martin to swapping out for a Ford Ranger with 200,000 miles that won't make it very far out of state to recruit. But uh, I don't care how many Oklahoma's little brother bumper stickers T Boone's oil money would buy.

Lightning round time...1.Who would you least like to face in March? 2.Would you still do Britney? 3.Michael Beasley...smarter than a fifth-grader? 4.Best all-around player on this team? 5.Your hair...Lute Olsen real or Ed Hightower weave?

1. UCLA of course...but uh, we aren't afraid of any team. 2. Maybe after about 5 schooners from West, Doug Compton and her have a lot more in common anyway. 3. I hear his dorm room is fully decorated with SpongeBob Squarepants products and his mom literally had to come to Manhattan to supervise...so uh, you be the judge. 4. Mario hands down, though I won't tell him that, hoping to get him for another year. 5. My hair is as real as this interview, don't know if you noticed, but I got a nice new one this offseason. Thanks for having me on here, pretty good interview from half-a-tard.

And boom goes the dynamite. I have no good reason to post this next thing but i thought it was kinda cool

1. Click on this link for Wikipedia's random-article generator. Whichever Wikipedia entry comes up is the name of your band.

2. Click on this link for the Random Quotations page. The last four words of the last quotation on the page are the name of your album.

3. Click on this link for interesting Flickr photographs from the last seven days. The third picture on the page is the artwork for your album.

So if you followed all of that you have your Band Name, Album Name and an Album Cover. Side note...I can't even type that without thinking of Sean Connery on Celebrity Jeopardy...

Sean Connery
: Well, the game is afoot. I'll take anal bum cover for 7,000.

Alex Trebek: That's An album cover, not anal bum cover.

Sean Connery: I can read, Trebek. That says Anal bum cover. I've spent five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover, failing to do so is my greatest regret.

Anyway...here is mine to the right...freaky

Hope everyone is ready for the Duke-UNC FellatioFest tomorrow night! Atleast we won't have to hear endless Bob Knight speculation/career recaps anymore


Hiphopopotamus said...

Britney and Compton - genius.

Sure Dickie V loves him some Duke/UNC, but if you don't think he's going to mention the General more than once, I think you are sadly mistaken.

GingerBalls said...

yeah, he will cream himself a few times during the game about RMK. I will be watching and making snide comments the whole time. I just wish Dick would make it about the game rather than about himself...he is king of glorywhores