Wednesday, February 6, 2008

FelatioFest 2008-Duke v. UNC part uno

Gingerballs(7:46p.m.)-Thought we would try our first live blogging effort with tonights game...my pregame burning questions...1. Is Erin Andrews doing the game and will she be wearing some apple-bottom jeans? 2. Over/under on Paulus flops/pussyplays? I'll go with 5, just in case we shall keep a running tally...bonus points for an opponent teabagging. 3. Will Dookie V be the same old voice we have come to know and tolerate? Stay tuned for more kids...

(Jemaine - prezzzent) #2 Duke vs. #3 North Carolina...it's THE RIVALRY and you don't wanna miss it!!! This game is so fucking big that the WWL had to bring in THE Mike Patrick to call it. And yes, Danny Green is putting on his best douchebag impersonation. Or his he just being Danny Green? One can never tell.

The game starts sans Tywon Lawson and with a 3 from newest pussyfart Greg Paulus. But UNC comes right back with a couple quick ones...4-3 UNC at 18:31

Gingerballs(17:10 in 1st)- Just caught Roy with one of those "wish Missouri was still my main rival" looks

Hiphop (16-13 NC, 13:30 left) First V. mention of Robert Montgomery Knight and he WILL be back in coaching...in the right situation. And Lubbock wasn't?

Gingerballs (18-18, 11:31) UNC needs to at least try to look like the have a clue on the perimeter without Lawson, mmmm I want to be Mr. Stacey Dales

Gingerballs (27-22 Duke 8:30 ish) Dear Roy...No more Thomas, signed Tarheel Nation. And how would Mike Patrick know what turf toe feels like..seriously

Gingerballs (37-28 Duke 4:00) I wish I could watch a college game in which I really didn't notice the officials. Make up calls, crap calls, mysterious calls...both ways it sucks

Hiphop (42-39 Duke at Halftime) Shockingly, UNC isn't playing good defense.

Got to send Duke some love for giving J-Mac a chance. And even he's scoring on this tenacious UNC defense.

Is there another announcer out there that screams "I molest children" like Mike Patrick? I say no.

And oh yeah, Kevin Hart - he made it all up. You stay classy, kid.

Gingerballs(42-39 half)- Duke has done a great job of playing to their strengths, 3 shooting, pressure D, handling the ball. UNC seems to have figured out that without Lawson they need to a. get out and run and b. give the ball to psycho T. I really don't understand what Roy could tell me to justify playing Thomas, honestly just have Ginyard play a full 40. Thomas adds nothing. I had this feeling that Hart kid made it up...why kid why?
*edit- Congrats to JMac, he deserves it

Hiphop (48-46 Duke, 18 to go) So…remember how I’ve been giving Russell a hard time lately. I take it back. I take it all back. I love you! I can’t live without you! Because you know who was the second choice at PG that year? That’s right, Quentin Thomas.

I mentioned this earlier, but what the hell are you thinking Steve Kerr?! You had a legitimate chance to get Kevin Garnett (in his prime, fast, equally good on O and D, driven, etc..) and passed it up only trade for Shaq (old, fat, slow, lazy, etc.)? Good luck with that. Even if by some wild stretch of the imagination this works, it still sucks because you won’t be fun to watch any more.

As for the game, I’ve never been more confident in Kansas’ ability to beat either of these teams.

Gingerballs(48-46 Duke 18 to go)- Thomas shuts me up and then we get the first attempted Paulus flop= Epic Fail...by the way, Mike Patrick said, "if thomas can just go even on assists and turnovers he will have a great game...? Really Mike

*Gamebreak* Paulus is playing perfect ball tonight, yet still prefers the company of men to women. and now back to the game

Hiphop (58-51 Duke, 12:38 left)

Roy Williams: vertigo victim.
Taylor King: Not pretty.
17 turnovers for UNC

Gingerballs (58-51 Dook, 12:31)Paulus flop/pussyplay count: now up to 2...chug your beer

Gingerballs(62-57 Dook, 9 to go)- Worst annoucing crew in basketball bar none

Hiphop (68-62 Duke, 7 left) I assume you aren't including the sideline reporter...

But really, how is UNC not winning this game? I know Thomas sucks and Lawson is awesome. But Nelson and Henderson have 4 fouls with 7 minutes left. If it were me, I'd try to take advantage. They seem to disagree.

p.s. I think Dickie V is crying. Fun.

Paulus bump...another flop after the three, he is lights out though...duke up 10 with 4:47 to go

Hiphop (76-68 Duke last TV timeout): North Carolina does one thing well and without Ty Lawson they can't do it. If you haven't guessed by now I'm talking about scoring. They really don't play defense or even box out. If the other teams is either a)athletic; or b) giving effort - Carolina is extremely average. Nothing too shocking here.

Gingerballs(Duke82-UNC73 1:30 to go)-Psycho T has had a hell of a game, the Duke gaurds are just too spot on tonight

Gingerballs-(Duke 89-UNC 78, final) It is amazing that without Lawson UNC could be completely taken out of their style of play. He is a very important player, yet at home this shouldn't be as big a factor. I really thought if Psycho T played like this, UNC wouldn't have a problem coming away with a victory. To the dismay of UNC, Ellington and Green didn't show up for shit. Ginyard played very well subbing for Lawson and Thomas had his moments. I come away from this game a little more impressed with Duke and the gaurds coming in to a hostile arena and playing well. I can't say it would be the same outcome with Lawson playing, but I wouldn't have been surprised. Of course I also come away from this feeling more confident about the Jayhawks and their chances of beating either of these teams on a neutral court. UNC is still better than dook with Lawson, but the Jayhawks combination of parts trump both.

On the football tip, it looks as if the Hawks brought in a solid class...here is to hoping Crawford makes an immediate impact, and stays out of trouble.

Hiphop (2/7) Back to THE RIVALRY

Call me crazy, but this group of guys is not winning the national championship. Have you ever seen a group of respected athletes look more like a group of gossipping, giddy, girls? Broken down...
DeMarcus Nelson is the one who knows what they look like and hates that he's there but where else is he going to hang out? With the fat girls? I think not. Will inevitably turn out the "coolest" of the bunch.
Scheyer, Singler and Henderson are clearly the ring leaders. Think the trio from Mean Girls only when they were in sixth grade rather than high school. (Note: If you have trouble picturig Scheyer as a popular girl, I don't blame you as he just as easily could have ridden the short bus.)
While Paulus is the clearly the loser (and probably overweight) doing anything to get accepted into their circle. If I had to guess, he's talking about how none of the guys at school are cool and he's looking for someone more mature. But in reality, he's the one doing anyone and everyone that's drunk enough to make that mistake.

4 comments:

Big Head said...

Dickie V, Billy Packer, or Raftery?

Gun to head, I'd go with Dickie V. He's at least entertaining, original unlike Raftery, and informative unlike fudge Packer.

Hiphopopotamus said...

Raftery, bar none.

Big Head said...

If Raftery did a Championship game that was going into the 5th OT, I wouldn't watch it. He is THE worst.

Packer is just a prick. I wish Clark Kellog would take over for him. CK isn't half bad when they let him out of the studio.

Robo Boogie said...

Good god you two need to get out more...