Thursday, October 2, 2008

Medical History: Hot Dog Fingers, Government Created Killer Nano Robot Infection

Well, Hiphop has certainly been carrying this blog....so I figured it was time to contribute something. Given his expert football commentary I feel I should add something different. As many have done before in the blog world(shout out to Mizzourah's Big 12 as Potato Chips entry), I want to subject Big 12 Football to a pop-culture reference. As many of you know, the second episode of the new season of The Office is next week(damn VP debate!). What better time to relate each school to a character on said show? Let us begin. (mixture of current worth and Big 12 era)

Kelly Kapoor - Kansas State: This was easy. Constantly in need of validation or some semblance of worth. Always aware of what the more talented, famous and wealthy are up in an attempt to emulate or at least live vicariously through. At times can seem rather hot and exotic, until you realize it is just the same crazy skank with a makeover and an eating disorder(read: polishing a turd).

Kevin Malone – Baylor: A little slow on the uptake, sometimes mistaken for a retard. Might show some flashes of something more but each are probably not going to get a bigger role.

Stanley Hudson - Nebraska: Old, crabby and refuse to recognize their position in the grand scheme. I think that says it all.

Dwight Schrute – Missouri: The lovable loser, who isn't so lovable. Easily tricked into delusions of grandeur and importance, yet never living up to the responsibilities that it brings. Incredibly good at what they do, but outside of their comfort zone can be easily rattled.

Michael Scott – Oklahoma: The boss who is challenged numerous times and often makes you wonder why he is the boss. When the time comes to do the real labor, in the most important times, they often let many down. Most of the time will exercise their muscle and put subordinates in their place.

Jim Halpert – Texas: Though not exactly the lead role, they garner a surprising amount of airtime. The ratings show that they are well liked, no matter the performance. They try and show that they are more capable than the boss and sometimes come out the victor.

Pam Beesly – Kansas: Likeable and cute in the kid next door kind of way. Had an awful courtship with previous suitor and has moved on to a much brighter relationship. Believes that this time it is the real deal. Constantly learning and adapting to prove their worth and talent.

Ryan Howard – Iowa State: The young gun who was trying to take the north/company by storm. Came close to getting where they wanted yet failed and has had major setbacks, possible coke addiction. Still trying to find ways to be relevant again.

Creed - Oklahoma State: The wildcard. Full of schemes and means to facilitate said schemes. Not usually on the up and up. Occasionally decent and likable. Likely to go on rants.

Oscar Martinez – Texas Tech: Flamboyant yet businesslike. Previous seasons we weren't really sure if the gay/south contender thing was for real, but this season there are no doubts as to the validity of our assumptions.

Toby Flenderson - TAMU: Has been absent most of the season so far and no one really noticed. Also has some major injuries, not sure if we will hear from again.

Andy Bernard - Colorado: Rubs you the wrong way in a way you can't explain. Likes to expound on their level of culture and come off snobby. Though young and talented, many questions remain as to how well they get the job done.

That's it kids, take it for what it is(not much) and let me know what you think. Rock Chalk.

17 comments:

Hiphopopotamus said...

Dynamite drop in Ginger! They don't call him the best color man in the league for nothin' folks.

rockchalk said...

Absolutely tremendous. Wow.

Spot-on, as well.

Awesome, awesome stuff.

Robo Boogie said...

Good stuff. Methzou is like Dwight Schrute in that I think there is a chance booger eater did a brief stint at staples before delivering pizzas and I hear rumors they practice in a beat patch. This I think makes Marquis Booker Moses Schrute, you never see him anymore. Maybe I will actually think of a post now.

Hiphopopotamus said...

You do know exactly one episode has passed since we lost saw Mose Schrute releasing a raccoon into Holly's car, right?

Chuck Roberts said...

Amazing, the stupidity that entertains ku fans!

Robo Boogie said...

I realized that after I posted it but was hoping no one was that astute. Alas, damn you hiphop. it had been awhile before that one though. One of my favorite episodes is when dwight takes ryan to the beat farm and moses starts running along with the car. Fact: Chuck Roberts eats beats.

Jay said...

Slavery entertains Methzouri fans.

Big Head said...

Ironically, I like Dwight.

Chuck Roberts said...

Relax, Robo Boogie. Some of my dearest, albeit misguided, friends are ku grads. I'm just having fun. For crying out loud, the Mizzou potato chip entry compared us to Funyuns. I don't watch TV much so I don't know who this Kelly character is, but it doesn't sound good.

Robo Boogie said...

Chuck that was a quote from Jim impersonating Dwight, also in good fun. Do your self a favor though and get the office (US and UK version) DVDs and catch up. You'll thank me!

Anonymous said...

Seems as though you took a low-blow at a couple teams.
If you could get past your pre judgements this could've been a very good post.

roobaby said...

so....Kansas has a vagina? & likes to get f#$%@# by Texas

Robo Boogie said...

Texas, like Jim, always has the most talent and skills of anyone in the show, yet always ends up still a salesman after from time to time flirting with moving up to corporate.

Anonymous said...

GREAT post. The whiners who are crying that their team was 'attacked' needs to graduate so they can buy a sense of humor.

Jay said...

roobaby awesome post. mentioning the word vagina makes your post both edgy and almost controversial. I'll be talking about you for days. Your mom has a vagina.

Tom said...

Oman, that was well done.

Anonymous said...

And KU is back to being KU.